Having seen her Mom and Dad making love by accident, it was all Katie could think about for days. Masturbating with the image in her mind she would play it out over and over, as she ground her fingers into her tight little hole and imagining it was her that Daddy was fucking. Finally after several nights of fingering herself to sleep Katie decided there was only one way to satisfy her hormonal urges, she would have Daddy’s cock no matter what. She had to seduce her father, that was the only way she would be totally satisfied.
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My brother and I got all worked up watching each other working out at our 24 hour gym. Luckily it was one in the morning and no one was in the locker room, we were able to get our post workout treat then and there.
Despite tech-driven innovations in wooing, one shouldn’t underestimate the ancient art of aural sex in which we use our words and imagination to paint a picture that cannot be captured in an image. While dirty talk may be just using our words, something we do every day, it can be one of those nuanced things where it can be absolutely perfect or it can fall flat and sound like the record skipped.
Some people shy away from dirty talk because they don’t even know where to begin. They’ve seen bad movies with bad one-liners and can still feel the sting of the character’s epic verbal fail. They don’t want to feel silly and embarrassed. Fear not! With a little guidance, you can be talking dirty with the rest of them. Much like sex with a new partner, you can bring all of your past knowledge to the table, but you’ll probably have to make adjustments for what works best for your partner. It’s all part of the process. Whether you are deep in the throes, waiting in the grocery line together, or across the country connected by your screens, this art of verbal seduction can send your or your partner’s heart racing.
There is something to be said about a great back and forth of sexual mental tennis.
Now I don’t suggest you employ your foul-mouthed skills just anywhere. There is a time and place for this. It isn’t advisable to suddenly launch into a dirty diatribe with someone you don’t already know, so make sure this would be a welcomed addition to your relationship.
If you find yourself separated from your partner, you can employ these skills over text to arouse and build anticipation with your partner. It’s also great if you’re feeling a little nervous about doing this in person. Starting off with something simple like:
“I can’t wait to play with you tonight.”
“Work is really difficult for me today. I keep thinking about what we did last night.”
“I just got out of the shower, and I wish you were here right now.”
These fairly tame phrases can be the gateway to opening up the conversation into something more explicit. Bonus points if you can incorporate multiple senses.
“I love how wet you get for me. I want to taste you.”
“I want to feel your warm, wet pussy on this cock.”
‘I want to hear you say my name while I’m in you.”
Get creative with it. The key is to make sure the phrases are well-timed and flow with your conversation. There is something to be said about a great back and forth of sexual mental tennis. It’s also necessary to make sure that your communication comes off as authentic. If you’re not a profanity user or your partner doesn’t welcome that kind of language, don’t feel like you have to use it. Play within both of your comfort zones and, most importantly, have fun.
Even if you’ve mastered digital conversation, when it comes time to do it IRL, some people can feel a little trepidation on how to initiate the verbal play. If you’re starting from nothing, dip your toes into the dirty-talk pool with some simple moans and groans. Give a sigh or have a catch in your breath. Becoming vocal during the act will make you more comfortable when it comes time to say it with words.
If you’re feeling shy or not sure what to say, just stick to basic phrases. Simple can be sexy.
“I love it when you _____ my _____.”
“That feels so good.”
Everyone loves compliments, and these simple phrases sound super erotic when said into your partner’s ear. Just giving a verbal play-by-play of what is happening can heighten the experience. As your confidence builds, you can start to incorporate more detailed phrases. Contrary to its name, dirty talk doesn’t have to be explicit or obscene. You can absolutely play around with it and build a fantasy story, praise and stroke your partner’s ego, give orders, or simply tell a partner what you’re about to do to them.
“What if we were having sex in front of others right now?”
“You’re the best I’ve ever had.”
“Touch yourself for me.”
“I’m going to fuck that pretty face, you dirty girl.”
But don’t forget that what goes on during erotic talk does not necessarily translate into real life. For example, your partner might like it when you call them a whore during sexting or in the bedroom, but they may not like being called a whore in public. Talking dirty is done for mutual enjoyment and should never be used maliciously against your partner.
I know dirty talk can seem daunting, especially if you’ve never done it before, but the best way to conquer that fear is to just try it! Start off simply and build from there. Don’t worry if you misspeak, just laugh it off and keep going. You may have heard the phrase ‘give her the D,’ but consider giving her the B (brain). Our mind is our largest sexual organ, so why not try stroking that for a change?
You always want what you can’t have. That’s the saying, right? Well, a new study suggests this sentiment is especially true for female attraction. According to a paper published in Scientific Reports, men receive an “attractiveness boost” from women when they’re in a committed relationship, a quality shared with abstract art (as in, you don’t know it’s attractive until someone else tells you).
This concept is called “mate-choice copying.” If a potential partner is chosen by someone else, they appear to be of higher quality than men who remain unplucked. According to reports, this is common conduct, as the same idea has been observed in species of birds and fish.
The researchers claim the reassurance comes in handy for females trying to ensure they’ve chosen the best partner for reproduction. For the study, the research team collected attractiveness ratings of pictures of abstract art, men and men’s hands from heterosexual women in the survey. The kicker: They were also given information about how the other participants had voted. The study was then repeated with the inclusion of lesbians and bisexual women and the results stayed the same, highlighting the fact that all women behave in the same way, regardless of who they are attracted to.
“Women in our study found men’s faces more attractive if other women had given that face high ratings. But the same goes for pictures of abstract artworks,” lead author Dr. Kate Cross said of her research. “Women appear to copy the mate preferences of other women, but this might simply be because humans have a general tendency to be influenced by the opinions of others.”
All boiled down, female attraction toward committed men is largely due to the preconceived idea that taken men have their shit together.
Aside from pointing out that women are socially influenced by other women in regard to men’s attractiveness, no few other insights are shared. So Playboy spoke to Deanna Cobden, dating and relationship coach, who helped further explain the allure of taken men.
“Men in relationships tend to be a little bit more put together and polished, mentally, emotionally and physically and often display the qualities of drive, purpose, ambition, security and stability that women find attractive,” she begins. “That is very often because these types of men have already achieved their own specific career and life goals by the time they’re ready to commit to a relationship. Once they are in that relationship they are ‘all in’ and ready to focus on family and building a life together.”
Now as for whether this plays into the whole “all the good ones are taken” vernacular, Cobden’s not so sure. “It’s a matter of perception, you never really know what’s going on with people,” she admits. “We tend to idealize others’ relationships, but many times the couples you think are perfect end up breaking up, and it wasn’t so rosy after all. Instead of believing the grass is greener on the other side, I believe the grass is greener when you water it.”
After reading of the results of this study, I was reminded of The Bachelor. You know, the wildly successful dating reality show wherein one man finds a woman he loves, and all of the other women automatically love him too because he’s the elected hottie. I mention this to Cobden and started to wonder if our taste in others is more learned than it is biological. She insists it’s a combination of the two, attesting there is always an initial attraction or not. “However, this doesn’t mean instant chemistry, the super-hot kind, is a good idea, because it usually doesn’t end with a perfect lifelong romance.” That’s mainly because you end up starting with the physical, then realize a year or two later that there isn’t enough compatibility for a lifelong partnership with shared qualities and values.”
You can become more attracted to a person physically, mentally and emotionally the more you get to know them. “This is especially true for women, we can fall in love with our brain and start to feel an emotional connection, then become physically attracted. Men tend to fall in love the opposite.”
As for the ladies on The Bachelor, Cobden thinks the spectacle of the situation can be blinding, going after a man but not necessarily being real about who they are or who he is and if the relationship would really be a good one for marriage. “Also,” she adds. They tend to be quite young and on the immature side.” A lot nicer than I would have put it, but sure.
All boiled down, female attraction toward committed men is largely due to the preconceived idea that taken men have their shit together. But, as Cobden mentions, we romanticize people’s relationships. The taken man might be a dipshit, too.