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Month: May 2017

The Most Legitimate Reason Ever to do the Five-Knuckle Shuffle and Two Finger Tango!



You probably hadn’t realised that May is a commemorative month — but there is a chance that you have already been celebrating without even knowing it…

Ok, so it is not a holiday observed by banks or post offices….well….at least not in any official capacity. You wont be getting a day off but, as this month is dedicated entirely to the celebration of self love, you have a legitimate reason to get off.

So whether you arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel or enjoy some time paddling the pink canoe – Hooray for May – it is International Masturbation Month!

Masturbation…What? Why?

So how does a taboo subject like this get a month all of its own? Well, it all started in 1995, in San Francisco, as a response to the forced resignation of U.S. Surgeon General, Joycelyn Elders. After a speech at the United Nations about AIDS in 1994, She was asked whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity, She answered, “I think it is something that is a part of human sexuality and a part of something that should perhaps be taught.” This caused great controversy.

It was the end of a career, but the beginning of National Masturbation Month. The founders of San Francisco-based sex education and toy shop, Good Vibrations, said, “Enough is enough!” They wanted to do two things: keep up the conversation about Elders’ unjust firing and make people talk more openly about their self-pleasuring ways.

So how can you do your part? Read on for some suggestions:

Get the Buzz

Many sex toy retailers hold sales during this time so you can stock out on more vibrators, dildos, male masturbators than you could possibly buy batteries for. Go crazy, and arm yourself with more weapons than you could hope to use in a marathon month of masturbation.

You Don’t Have to Be Single to Self-Mingle

If you’re currently in a relationship, chances are the both of you are doing at least a little self-loving on the side. And why wouldn’t you? Masturbation has a ‘load’ of benefits (pun intended), from stress reduction, to sleep aid, to higher overall sexual confidence. Solo sex sessions also enhance your coupled sex life, helping men improve their sexual stamina and women become more orgasmic.

Whilst there is nothing wrong with taking the ‘divide and conquer’ approach to masturbation, why not share the self-love with someone. Yes, I am talking about mutual masturbation.

It’s a Total Turn-On

Now come on people, you love to see people enjoy themselves sexually. Don’t believe me, just check out your browser history.

Now picture this: instead of watching a stranger on a cold, flat computer screen, you’re watching someone you know, in real life, giving themselves pleasure, close enough to touch – in fact touching is definitely encouraged!

One of the things that sets masturbation and sex apart is that masturbation is generally a very private act. The fact that your partner is giving you a front row seat to such an intimate experience – and vice versa – is extremely hot. It gives you a voyeuristic rush, like you are witnessing something that no other person gets to see.

Come One, Come All!

Whether or not you need an excuse to stick your hands down your pants, or you simply plan to use Masturbation Month as a reason to take more time off work and spend more quality time with your taco or tallywhacker, remember one thing: practice makes perfect. The more you play, the stronger your pelvic floor, ejaculation control and sexual confidence will become.

So why are still reading this? Tug, flick and jerk your way to better sexual health. Go on, treat yourself – it’s a holiday after all!


What do you think folks? Will you be celebrating or do you not need a reason to get down and dirty with your bad self? Share with us in the comments. 😉

3rd May 2017     0 Comments   ,