Real UK Sex

The Most Legitimate Reason Ever to do the Five-Knuckle Shuffle and Two Finger Tango!

Written on 3rd May 2017   By   in sex advice

 

 

You probably hadn’t realised that May is a commemorative month — but there is a chance that you have already been celebrating without even knowing it…

Ok, so it is not a holiday observed by banks or post offices….well….at least not in any official capacity. You wont be getting a day off but, as this month is dedicated entirely to the celebration of self love, you have a legitimate reason to get off.

So whether you arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel or enjoy some time paddling the pink canoe – Hooray for May – it is International Masturbation Month!

Masturbation…What? Why?

So how does a taboo subject like this get a month all of its own? Well, it all started in 1995, in San Francisco, as a response to the forced resignation of U.S. Surgeon General, Joycelyn Elders. After a speech at the United Nations about AIDS in 1994, She was asked whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity, She answered, “I think it is something that is a part of human sexuality and a part of something that should perhaps be taught.” This caused great controversy.

It was the end of a career, but the beginning of National Masturbation Month. The founders of San Francisco-based sex education and toy shop, Good Vibrations, said, “Enough is enough!” They wanted to do two things: keep up the conversation about Elders’ unjust firing and make people talk more openly about their self-pleasuring ways.

So how can you do your part? Read on for some suggestions:

Get the Buzz

Many sex toy retailers hold sales during this time so you can stock out on more vibrators, dildos, male masturbators than you could possibly buy batteries for. Go crazy, and arm yourself with more weapons than you could hope to use in a marathon month of masturbation.

You Don’t Have to Be Single to Self-Mingle

If you’re currently in a relationship, chances are the both of you are doing at least a little self-loving on the side. And why wouldn’t you? Masturbation has a ‘load’ of benefits (pun intended), from stress reduction, to sleep aid, to higher overall sexual confidence. Solo sex sessions also enhance your coupled sex life, helping men improve their sexual stamina and women become more orgasmic.

Whilst there is nothing wrong with taking the ‘divide and conquer’ approach to masturbation, why not share the self-love with someone. Yes, I am talking about mutual masturbation.

It’s a Total Turn-On

Now come on people, you love to see people enjoy themselves sexually. Don’t believe me, just check out your browser history.

Now picture this: instead of watching a stranger on a cold, flat computer screen, you’re watching someone you know, in real life, giving themselves pleasure, close enough to touch – in fact touching is definitely encouraged!

One of the things that sets masturbation and sex apart is that masturbation is generally a very private act. The fact that your partner is giving you a front row seat to such an intimate experience – and vice versa – is extremely hot. It gives you a voyeuristic rush, like you are witnessing something that no other person gets to see.

Come One, Come All!

Whether or not you need an excuse to stick your hands down your pants, or you simply plan to use Masturbation Month as a reason to take more time off work and spend more quality time with your taco or tallywhacker, remember one thing: practice makes perfect. The more you play, the stronger your pelvic floor, ejaculation control and sexual confidence will become.

So why are still reading this? Tug, flick and jerk your way to better sexual health. Go on, treat yourself – it’s a holiday after all!

 

What do you think folks? Will you be celebrating or do you not need a reason to get down and dirty with your bad self? Share with us in the comments. 😉

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How to Quit the Best Sex You’ve Ever Had

Written on 22nd April 2017   By   in sex advice

CATEGORIES OF KRYPTONITE

Looking back on the men or women I’ve had this dynamic with, Kryptonite tends to fall into the same basic categories. As you mature, you’ll (hopefully) get better at recognizing and avoiding these types altogether, but let’s go over these personality types to start.

CRAZYTOWN, POPULATION: HIM OR HER
We all know what Crazytown looks like: endless drama. Raging fights. Screeching tires. Constant break-ups followed by passionate, borderline violent make-up sex. Crazytown is the pinnacle of toxic. It seeps into every aspect of your life and over time, the stress from relationships like this can actually alter your brain chemistry; you’ll become wired to crave the chemical rush you get from the madness. These relationships are destructive to you, your friends, your family, your kids. Get. Out. Get help if you need it—but get the fuck out. No good comes from this dynamic ever.

THE ASSHOLE
This person, male or female, is usually some degree of a narcissistic sociopath. They are number one, always. They’ll call you when you fit into their schedule or when they need validation. They have no intention of pursuing anything serious, but they’ll occasionally throw you a bone to maintain your affections. Their own inner emptiness is a black hole of love. Like energy vampires, they’ll suck the light out of you. You can recognize an asshole by the aftertaste of emptiness and rejection they leave behind. Rejection breeds obsession. It’s human nature to want what you can’t have, even if what you can’t have is poison. These relationships are insidious as they trigger all of our insecurities. This also makes them the hardest to exit from.

THE PERPETUALLY UNAVAILABLE
Kryptonite will often fall into more than one of these personality types simultaneously. For example, a lot of assholes are also emotionally unavailable, or better yet, married. Some variation of an artist-type—comics, musicians, models, actors, writers—are married to their work first and foremost. Stay far away from these fucking people. Whether your Kryptonite is emotionally unavailable or literally unavailable, they are love junkies, binging on it when it’s available and tossing you aside when they’ve had their fill. Share your love with someone who can reciprocate. Your love is too good to waste on a junkie.

NOW, LET’S RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS

YOU START LYING TO YOURSELF
“I won’t sleep with him/her,” you tell yourself. At first, I didn’t sleep with Kryptonite for an entire month until I cracked and of course, the sex was incredible. Not standard weed-high good; Class-A narcotic good. He quickly became my heroin of dick.

YOU OBSERVE A LACK OF SELF-CONTROL
“I’ll only sleep with him/her once a month.” Or the other lie, “I’ll sleep with other people.” Bringing in second-string lovers almost always backfires. It’s like saying, “I’ll stop drinking whiskey but still drink wine.” Every time you have that wine…you’re going to wish it were whiskey.

YOU THINK ONCE WILL BE ENOUGH
Kryptonite and I started sleeping together once a week and the sex only got better and better. I’d climax and then continue riding the waves of orgasms; it was like being on pure ecstasy. But every orgasm I had drew me deeper down the rabbit hole—and deeper into my addiction.

YOU START PONDERING THE L WORD AGAINST ALL REASON
He would spend the night and I’ve never slept better. My dog loved him and he loved her. I would look him in the eye when I was on top of him, and what’s that? Is that heartburn or are those…feelings? Oh great, here comes intimacy, ruining everything as usual.

YOU JUST CAN’T QUIT IT
“I can’t do this anymore,” I said a year ago. And I proceeded to cave every time he texted. I’d put up a good fight, but eventually, I’d crack. My sex drive is higher than my standards, what can I say?

GETTING OUT

So what do you do? Like anything you have to quit, the first step is admitting you have a problem. Now that you’ve done that…

GO COLD TURKEY
Honestly, I’ve tried easier, softer methods of dealing with the Kryptonite in my life, but I’ve found the only viable, long-term solution is 100 percent pure abstinence. It takes serious will power but for your own self-esteem, you have to rip off the Band-Aid and walk away. There is no “Let’s be friends” or “Let’s keep in touch”. There is only kicking that human the hard way. You’re going to have withdrawals. It’s going to be painful. You might even be in the fetal position in agony, missing their smell, their taste, the way they sound when they orgasm. You must resist. #Resist.

GET A “SPONSOR”
In 12-step programs, when the addict wants to drink, use, eat or gamble, they have a person they call before they make that choice. It’s our first thought in these situations that we can’t trust. Our second thought is usually better, if we can give ourselves the space to even get there. I have women who get my sexy selfies instead of the men I really want to send them to; I have friends, gay and straight, who call or text me when they want to reach out to their Krytonite. You are going to need support defeating Kryptonite. Get it in place for those lonely nights.

ERECT A WALL OF SILENCE
Label this person Kryptonite in your phone. Or better yet, DO NOT CALL. Block their number. Block them on social media if need be. Whatever it takes to build a cone of silence for you to successfully break the spell. It doesn’t have to be forever and I recommend when possible to lovingly block them. Be forthright about your feelings and intention to block them for your own well-being. Usually your Kryptonite is aware they aren’t good for you, and they’re wrestling with the same challenge of self-restraint, but a drug is never going to tell you to quit it. That’s up to you, and don’t kid yourself, you will have to summon some of the deepest resources of resolve you can imagine.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO GET OVER IT
Go easy on yourself. Even if you can’t necessarily stop yourself from falling into the same traps over and over, some of the most toxic and heartbreaking relationships I’ve had with a Kryptonite have ultimately been the most empowering, motivating and revealing—if I’m able to just stand back and receive the lesson. And by the way, we’ve all been The Asshole, The Unavailable and Crazytown before, so go easy on them too.

If you only take one thing from this column, remember this: No matter the reason Kryptonite can’t be with you is, it’s not about them—it’s about you. Kryptonite almost always reveals a broken part of you that doesn’t love yourself enough. Kryptonite doesn’t just represent your primal desire for sex; they shine light on your deepest wounds that need healing. The only way to deal with Kryptonite is to lovingly, and firmly, leave them. Thank them for the lesson and get out.

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WHIPS, TICKLERS AND FLOGGERS, OH MY! AN INTRO TO SENSATION PLAY.

Written on 13th April 2017   By   in free sex contacts

 

When it comes to sex and the way we do it, the possibilities are virtually endless. But many couples can find themselves in the auto-loop cycle of makeout, missionary, mission complete.

While reaching climax is certainly an end goal when it comes to sex, it doesn’t have to be the sole purpose of every sexual encounter you have with your partner. Sex is like a sundae; ice cream by itself is a tasty treat, but there are lots and lots of toppings you can add to make it even better.

If you are looking for a way to make sex, well, sexier, sensation play is the perfect place to start. Sensation play engages the body’s senses to arouse or heighten one particular sense, resulting in a more intense and pleasurable full-body experience. Sometimes sensation play is considered part of the BDSM category, but more often than not it is a gentle and sensual bedroom activity used to enhance the overall pleasure felt during sex. And, let’s be honest, who isn’t down to perking up their pleasure meter?

There are lots of ways to add a bit of sweet sensation into your sex life. A super fun and light option that’s great for introducing sensation play is using a feather tickler.

The Sportsheets Midnight Feather Tickler is as sexy as it is soft, and features super lush feathers that let you tease and taunt your partner without bringing back childhood memories of being tickle-tortured by an older sibling. Move the Tickler up and down their body lightly and pay attention to any places that seem to really turn them on. If you want to take tickling to the next level, try blindfolding your partner with the sexy Midnight Lace Blindfold. Cutting off one sense helps to further heighten the others, so by flying blind, she’s going to experience some great highs from everything else you do to her.

If you want to turn your sensation play up a notch, a flogger like the Edge Spike Flogger  can add a more intense way to heighten your partner’s sense of touch. Just like the tickler, start by gently dragging it across your partner’s body. Then softly whip the flogger—the key word here is softly—to build up the tension.

If your partner is comfortable, try whipping a him little harder. After each whip, be sure to gently drag the tassels of the flogger over the same spot to provide a soothing touch. The fun is in finding the aspects of sensation play that your partner enjoys most, and to build upon those in the bedroom.

Spanking is also an incredibly hot way to practice sensation play because it incorporates both pleasurable and painful sensations, which together can result in an intensely erotic sexual experience. A great way to introduce spanking is with a paddle or crop that isn’t super scary. The  Midnight Lace Paddle is perfect because it’s lacy, soft, and feminine (read: not intimidating). Start out by spanking your partner gently, making sure to communicate with each other to determine the level of pain they are comfortable with before increasing how hard you spank them.

While everyone is seemingly BDSM-curious these days (thanks to the ‘50 Shades of Grey’ books and movie franchise), it’s still important to make sure you and your partner are continuously communicating throughout the various of stages of your sensation play experimentation. Establishing a safe word is a great go-to method to ensure you both feel comfortable and are on the same page.

There’s often a fine line between pleasure and pain—and that’s exactly what makes sensation play so exciting. Our bodies offer an infinite number of ways to explore the senses, and with a little experimentation, you’ll find exactly what best tantalizes yours.

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